Rest and Reset
(This journal style rather than tidy published post)
I love holidays. I get to rest and reset. This year seems to be particularly poignant as I take time to reflect on all of the recent changes in our lives. In the last 2 years, I left the institution that I’ve been part of for the whole of my life, both of my parents died, we said farewell to both of our dogs and we moved house and started new jobs. Each of these things comes with significant grief or huge change.
So it’s probably quite understandable that as I sat down today to try and give some definable shape to our new church vision for this next season, I found myself, a little bit confused and adrift. So after I’ve got over myself, and my ridiculously high expectations that I could return from holiday instantly churn out documents and plans that would shape us over the coming year. I paused, slowed down and prayed.
But I found something unusual happening as I prayed. I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to question and review in a much deeper way some of the work patterns that I had developed over twenty years. Many of these things I’m hugely grateful for, I’ve picked up some skills about systems and administration and people. But on reflection, I’ve also become competent enough to lead outside the orbit of Jesus. This is not good. So off the back of my rest, it’s also time for a reset.
I spent most of the day prayerfully reviewing how I spend my time and the following are the conclusions that I’ve drawn about how I want to try and shape things for me personally for this next season. I don’t claim that any of them are either new or radical, but I post them here as both as a marker in the sand for me, but also in the hope that others might find them helpful.
The Reset
Each week has 168 hours in it. Approximately 56 of these will be spent sleeping. I work four days a week as a church leader and over the last year, I’ve been relatively good at sticking to this. Church leadership comes in ebbs and flows but the four days a week equals a theoretical 28 hours week. I also take funerals as an independent funeral celebrant. Currently, this is about one service a week. This equates to 5 to 7 hours of work for each service, so all in all my work should not total 35 hours per week. This is also part of the radical transformation of our lives, previously I work 60-70 hours per week. So just 35 hours leaves 77 hours for everything else. That is a revelation in itself. There should be loads of time for everything.
But I often find myself confused about what I should do next, yes, I have plenty of systems in place to help me decide. I’m torn in many different directions, family life, exercise, church work, and the additional work that I do on the side. So part of this reflective process and reset this year, and the challenge that I feel God brought to me is that there is a way of living where I can know what to do next, and the answer is not found in the system, although I quite like those. But in his presence.
Part of the dilemma is this, I know I should be leading people in God’s presence and teaching them about his word and how to live. But so often, I managed to struggle through without doing this myself. I spend time in his presence and then rush away to do his work. I spend time teaching others and serving them, but I don’t take time to learn and grow myself. I want this to change.
I thought about this in terms of focus. This is, after all what I bump into when I struggle to know what to do, a lack of focus, so if I get my focus in the right place, not just for work but in every part of my life, then perhaps I will know what I’m supposed to do next in each moment. So I will frame this as areas of focus, with each area being broken down into smaller areas of focus.
I think my life has got three main areas of focus.
Life, this includes my walk with Jesus, recreation and rest, time with my family and friends, and creativity. (77 hours per week)
Church leadership (28 hours per week)
Business (7 Hours per week)
Life
For many years I have had a personal life statement.
'Walk with Jesus and encourage others to do the same.'
At the heart of this reset is the desire to reclaim this statement and make sure that in every part of my life, I am walking with Jesus.
The foundational and most important focus is to be walking with Jesus. Instep and in his presence. I would like to say that I’m going to prioritise prayer, it seems like the right answer, but that’s not what I mean. I am going to prioritise his presence, with prayer being one of the things that helps me to access his presence.
To come into the presence of God, it’s not for me to invite God into my world, but for me to be in the orbit of his. This is the world where he is on the throne, he is the Lord, the Almighty, God, and yes, friend. But the focus shift is that I’m to come into his world rather than invite him into mine. And I know he says that he will be with me always, but the foundation for this is that I’m a citizen of heaven, and that’s why he’s with me always.
So I’m going to prioritise his presence, but I’m also going to practice it at the beginning of every day. This is active and can be activated through three specific resources, the word, worship and waiting, or abiding in him.
Many years ago, I developed a prayer pattern that I found hugely helpful, but then I’ve neglected it over the last 10 years or so. It’s a simple, imaginative tool, a place where I can go that helps me to connect deeply with Jesus. I call them prayer rooms. I’ve given a brief description of them at the end of this article. It’s time in every hour of my life to reactivate this important and imaginative tool.
This first life focus also includes rest and recreation. As someone who is now in their 50th year and has put on a significant amount of weight in the last 12 months (food and drink is almost certainly one of my comforts for grief). Exercise is really important. I also find that when I move, I’m more able to connect with the presence of God.
Church Leadership
As a new church leader, I started out having a day of fasting and prayer each week. I’m not quite sure when I stopped this habit, but I know that when I was doing it, it was a huge benefit.
The other thing that I’ve noticed is that I feel guilty when I’m not busy doing and organising things; this leaves little time for prayer or learning in my head or heart. Overtime, this becomes problematic. If you’re so focused on serving others that you forget to care for yourself, it’s time for a reset. So here’s my plan as a church leader.
Focusing time as a church leader
Presence of God
Everything is surrounded by the presence of God. I choose to be in orbit of him, to stand in his kingdom, rather than inviting him into mine. I can actively do this, activating my awareness of his presence through the word, worship and waiting. To facilitate a weekly reset and to develop my abiding in his presence. I will fast one day each week. To lead others into the presence of God, I must stand in his presence.
Leadership Focus
Leaders listen to context, discern direction and shape culture.
Teaching - to teach others, I much also be learning. Therefore, it is essential for me to be reading, watching, and spending time with others. So that I teach from a well of resources.
Discipleship - Actively disciples leaders, team leaders and Life Group Leaders
Team - Staff team leadership and discipleship.
Support
I have a responsibility to provide support to enable the church to be healthy
Communications, personal comms and church promotions
Systems to support growth
Governance
Pastoral Care
Business
It seems like everyone has a side hustle these days. Choosing to work four days a week as a church leader is about embracing the fullness of life that God has for me, and acknowledging that my primary God-given identity is not as a leader, but as a son.
So it’s been a great joy over the last few years to pay attention to the other things in my life that God is calling me too, and encouraging me in. I’ve always wanted to be a provider for my family. I don’t want to create riches and luxury, but I do want to live generously and from a place of overflow, rather than with a spirit of poverty. So for a number of years, I’ve had a desire to start a business.
Using the skills that I have, independent Funeral work is both satisfying and financially rewarding. Having completed a postgrad recently, it may also be that some elements of coaching develop over time. I’m also working to make the equity in our house like a little harder.
Each of these things feels like a holy endeavour, this is new territory for me. I’m not sure that I know where it all leads, just that I want to be led by the spirit of the living God in all of it.
Conclusion
‘Walking with Jesus and encouraging others to do the same’ is still a mission worth living by. In fact, I can think of nothing better. The challenge is embedding this in my everyday life, not just with some time in prayer, but actually walking in step with him. I hope that as I choose to do this over the coming year that I will be fruitful for him and live with his spirit. Apart from him, I can do nothing!
Below is a visual representation of what I’ve tried to describe above. If you got this far, thanks for reading, and I hope you found it helpful.
Prayer Rooms
Walking with Jesus is a daily, moment-by-moment thing. I need structure, but I also need time that is creative and imaginative. These prayer rooms help to take me to that place.
Throne Room
A place of encounter with the king. The room has pillars on either side and is made of orange marble. While I have had this image of many years (about 15), I did not realise until our recent holiday in Florence that the colour of this room was the marble that is all over Italy.
Key attributes of God: he is king and ruling, and sin cannot come into this place.
Key response: humility, confession of sins reverence for authority.
Actions: forgiveness, acceptance, and welcome right into the presence of the holy King of kings.
Sofa
Key attributes of God: Jesus, as friend, the Holy Spirit as comfort.
Key response: willingness to be intimate, being still, listening, and sharing my heart.
Actions: being heard and known, as well as hearing and knowing
Heaven
Key attributes of God: God, the Father on the throne with the Son, and the Spirit being worshipped by a multitude of people. Revelation.
Key response: worship and abiding in his presence
Actions: surrendering one's life and service of the king, but also the place where he anoints, pours out his Holy Spirit and commissions
Armoury
Key attributes of God: Holy Spirit, as the one who equipped with the armour of God, see Ephesians six
Key response: be willing to be clothed in the armour of God, and unwilling to move without his armour and protection.
Actions: a place of equipping for the spiritual battle.
War Room
Key attributes of God: King Jesus is the leader and strategist of the heavenly army.
Key response: listening for strategy and creating the strategy with Jesus.
Actions: a place of equipping for the spiritual battle.
Balcony
Key attributes of God: the father who loves the world, the son who is paid for the world, and the Holy Spirit was hovering over the world.
Key response: bringing the needs of the world before God about doing so, from the perspective of the kingdom of heaven, from the balcony, looking down on the world.
Actions: Allow God to carry what is his and bring before him the needs of the world and the church.